Just before the Covid-19 saga and subsequent lockdown, Priscillia got married to her sweetheart, Ben. The wedding was quite an elaborate one; this was expected considering Ben’s very wealthy background. People of class were in attendance.

The car park was filled to the brim with choice cars, telling us in more ways than one the calibre of attendees at the wedding. Everyone was gaily dressed to suit the occasion.

Would you attend your ex-lover’s wedding?

June 27, 2020FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInWhatsAppEmail

VERA CHIDI-MAHA

Just before the Covid-19 saga and subsequent lockdown, Priscillia got married to her sweetheart, Ben. The wedding was quite an elaborate one; this was expected considering Ben’s very wealthy background. People of class were in attendance.

The car park was filled to the brim with choice cars, telling us in more ways than one the calibre of attendees at the wedding. Everyone was gaily dressed to suit the occasion.

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Assorted food and drinks were on offer. It was Priscilla’s and Ben’s day. It followed that everyone should rejoice with them, their parents, friends and naturally their relations.

Of all the attendees, James was exceptional. He was in the midst of it all; in a world of his own. He felt empty. He blamed himself for attending Priscilla’s wedding.

Never did he think she would be marrying another person. She was his love. They dated for seven years. It got to a point in their relationship when Priscilla began to feel her biological clock was beginning to tick. She wanted to settle down and have babies, build a home with James.

James, of course, wanted marriage, but not just yet. He wanted all the good things of life. He wanted comfort for his would-be wife.

He wanted to make enough money to send his would-be wife abroad to have their babies. He wanted to make enough money to send their kids to the best schools money can afford. He wanted the best.

When it became obvious that James was not ready for marriage, Priscilla summoned up the courage to break their seven-year onion.

Thereafter, she met Ben. Compared to James, Ben was a big boy by all standards. He was also good-looking; no sane girl could ask for more. To crown it all; in six months he was asking for Priscilla’s hand in marriage.

“Yes! Priscilla replied, blushing at the same time.

“Yes, I will be your wife; yes, I want to be the mother of your children.

“Yes, I want to grow old with you,” she answered Ben, who at this point was on a bended knee. He got up, hugged her and quietly slipped the engagement ring on her finger.

Priscilla in fairness to her; told James about Ben and reasons why she had to move on. When the wedding date was fixed, James was the first person she invited. He felt awkward at first. He did not see any reason why he had to be present at the wedding.

But his ex talked him into attending. From the moment he stepped into the wedding ceremony, he felt pangs of regret flowing through him. He felt eyes on him.

He was stared at by people who knew. He silently wondered what they were thinking about. Were they making jest of him? Were they sneering at him or were they feeling sorry for him? He looked up at Priscilla, glowing like never before; she was even prettier than he had ever seen her. She looked so happy and peaceful. He knew it was a wrong of him to have attended.

He looked down, to his table; tear welling up in his eyes, he grabbed his car keys and dashed for the car park. For the first time in his adult life, he let off his emotions and allowed tears stream down his face.

After listening to James’ experience, my other friends talked about how they would react if they found themselves in the same situation. Below is how I chronicled their reactions.

Bolaji: “Oh yes! I would be the happiest guest! Why not? I always talk to my ex. It’s a good thing! I mean, my ex is still my best friend! If she is happy, I am happy. And I mean it. My ex and I had a good time because we still have the same friends”.

Niyi: “Yes! I will attend as long as they were kind enough to invite me. “I’d definitely go. If we broke up on not so good terms, for whatever reason, I’d still go if invited. Just to see them get hitched would be great.

Then, I wouldn’t have to worry about them thinking about the unrequited again. It is the right thing to do, as long as you’re invited, just attend it. I would also be happy for them, as long as they are happy for me”.

Funmi: “If I were not married and I were so in love with my ex, I probably wouldn’t go. What for? I would only hurt myself more. It’s easy to say things than do it.

And it is hard to pretend that you’re really happy when you are hurt deep inside. But if I were not deeply in love with my ex and he invites, then I would go.

I wouldn’t come uninvited either. When I was getting wedded, my immediate ex attended. I didn’t invite him personally, but he was a choir member in my church so what could I do? I felt he was hurt. I could sense it, but men have pride.

“I know that men are not too emotional. He congratulated me afterwards and told me he was happy for me and that we could still be friends.

But guess what? The next time we met at a function, I greeted him but he never replied. Now, we are friends after eight years”.

 Samuel, on his part, has a contrary view.

He said: “In fact, to turn the tables, I had about three ex-girlfriends at my wedding. And I have been to all theirs too. It’s no big deal; we are adults.

If anyone is the jealous type, the issue could be a weird one. But again, it’s all good. If someone is getting married, all feelings should set aside.

Marriage is the end game as far as relationships go. So when one of my exes gets married, that effectively puts a stop to any idea of getting back together.

Credit: The Nation